Have you ever had one of those experiences where someone is so unbelievably rude that it sticks with you for years? I was asked a question on Formspring recently that reminded me of an encounter like this, (by the way, I'm thinking of quitting Formspring... I won't go into detail since Coasting Anon pretty much summed it up perfectly already, so check out her post) and thought I'd share my response with you all. The original question:
I think many of us have had the experience of feeling wronged by an individual, only to think of the perfect comeback... 2 hours later. Tell me about one of those times and what you wish you had said.
About 7 years ago, my mom and I were out to dinner at a local Chili's near where I was living at the time. It was my first time living on my own after college, so it was still kind of an adjustment for me, and I am really close with my mom so we tried to have weekly dinners to catch up. Anyway, we were sitting at Chili's, having finished our meal, but we were just chatting and laughing and relaxing, not in any rush to get out of there (it wasn't crowded or anything, so we didn't feel like we were holding anything up). Some little no-good pimple-faced wearing-too-much-eyeliner brat of a teenager came over and asked us if we were going to be leaving soon because, ya know, they were waiting to sit there. We were just so caught off-guard and responded, "um, yeah, in a few minutes," and we just sat there stunned as she walked away to bitch about us to her equally annoying and pimple-faced friends. Apparently we were sitting right in the middle of a larger area of tables that were empty, but, unbeknownst to us, they were waiting for us to leave before they could put all the tables together and seat this group of annoying teenagers.
My mom and I were so annoyed, but at the same time embarrassed, because two of the employees who were standing nearby, putting the other tables together, saw the whole thing and just kind of stood there without doing anything. We started to get a complex that maybe we were being jerks sitting at this table after we were done our meal, and we should go.
As we walked out, pimple-face's friends apologized like "ohmygod I'm sooooo sorry, she didn't mean that you had to leave, we were just waiting for our table yada yada yada" and my mom told them she was just trying to enjoy dinner with her daughter who she only gets to see once a month (okay, we stretched that truth a bit, hehe) and generally (deservedly) made it known that they were clearly in the wrong as we walked out.
I went home and an hour later I was still fuming, so I called the restaurant just to tell the manager what had happened. I told him how disappointed I was that the employees standing nearby didn't do anything to make us feel more welcome after they saw our encounter with brat-tastic, and we felt like we were being forced out of there; he apologized and promised me a free dessert the next time we went in (which of course never happened). I felt a little better after that, but I REALLY wish I had asked for the manager while we were sitting there being confronted by the brat, and I wish I had given her a piece of my mind for real. I wish they had gotten kicked out of the restaurant so they realized that is not acceptable human behavior, and when you treat people poorly, you receive that same treatment in return.
When put on-the-spot during encounters like this, I always come up with my response or comeback too late; it's SO frustrating! Are you good at reacting quickly when dealing with an inconsiderate individual, or do you always come up with your best comeback two hours later, too?
April 5, 2010
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I am the same way. I think of the best things....but like an hour too late!! I always clam up in the moment but then later I always think of something to say and I regret that I didn't stand up for myself at the time.
ReplyDeleteHere's a good one: ;-)
I have had a bad weekend. I have been depressed due to a few issues and I have a cold that I am getting over. I walk into Easter dinner and my cousin-in-law says "Wow! You look Greeeeaaaaat" (totally sarcastic) and then my SIL snapped "I don't want to get sick!" I mutter that I am not contagious and yes I look terrible and I walked off. I had JUST walked in and was feeling so weepy and THAT is what was said to me! My point....I totally feel your pain haha Oh how I wish I had just said to them "Wow thanks alot...that was a nice welcome!" Sometimes I wish that being a bitch came a little more naturally to me ;-)
I am always late to the come-back party, and it's so frustrating! What really bothers me are situations where you are minding your own business and just strolling along, and someone goes out of their way to mess with you. (Like in the incident with you and your Mom). It's hard to think of something to say on the spot, because you are totally caught off guard! Here's something I can't stand - when you open the door at a restaurant, store, mall, etc. and a clown car of 15 people walks in - and no one says "thank you". What's up with that?
ReplyDeleteI really need to make a reference list of witty comebacks for rude situations. And don't get me started on the obscene behavior of people in their cars...OK, I have hit my complaining limit for today. Oops. I meant to just say, "I understand". :)
A few years ago, while shopping at the J.Crew in Brinton Lakes (note: the staff was wonderful), I was telling the sales associate how much I liked the tissue-thin tees and one girl near me remarked on how crazy it was to be "poor." Given that I was the only one near her aside from her bitchy friend, I assumed that she was speaking of me because I didn't have an OMGITBAG and it was total BS! I ended up writing a screed in my journal, and it was the beginning of the end of my love of great brands--why buy one if a-holes associated with it?
ReplyDeleteLong story short--the poeple who are writing mean things about you are doing so because they cannot create anything of value on their own. I freely admit that I read certain snark and satire sites because the content is truly satire, but I don't endorse the snark-only comment. You wanna hate on me? Fine--just give me a valid reason (aka constructive criticism). Over-usage of "suck" and its derivatives is an automatic dealbreaker.
This reminded me of a phrase that doesn't quite exist in English, but the French have it...
ReplyDeleteEsprit de l’escalier (French): a witty remark that occurs to you too late, literally on the way down the stairs…
(from a list I've seen floating around a few times of words that don't exist in English that should! >> http://lauriebreaker.tumblr.com/post/476900330/words-that-dont-exist-in-the-english-language )