is your husband immature?

Mine is. This is what he does when mailing things to his parents (who, fortunately, have a good sense of humor):

photo courtesy of my mother-in-law

When writing me a check for the rent each month (no, we still haven't gotten our act together enough to organize our bills to pay from a joint checking account, shush), he also writes "*SEXUAL FAVORS*" in the memo line to embarrass me in front of the people at my bank.

Such a charmer, he is. Wherever did I find him?

bet your bottom dollar

I think it's time I share with you all the secret to my marriage. Well, maybe it's not the only secret to staying happy and minimizing conflict, but as equally stubborn Leos, it is one that Nick and I use often, and it works like a charm. It is...

the dollar bet.

image source

That's right: whenever Nick and I disagree over a fact-based matter, we bet a dollar that one of us has the right answer. If it's something that IMDB, Wikipedia, or Google can clear up for us, we bet a hundred cents, and all arguments cease. We break out the iPhones and when one of us wins (ahem, usually me), the other can't argue — he just has to hand over a buck and wallow in his wrongness. We even bet a dollar on the racing Septa bus competition (Red! No, blue!) that is shown on the jumbotron at Phillies games. It's silly, but I have to say that winning a dollar is the ultimate satisfaction, because you have something to show for your victory. And believe me, we each like to gloat when we prove the other wrong. We're very mature.

I only wish that when we started making dollar bets (years ago... I don't even know how long we've been doing it), we had started keeping track of who wins each bet. I am pretty sure I'd be in the lead...

What's your method for squashing disagreements?

thirty-five

Today marks a special occasion for my in-laws — it's their 35th wedding anniversary!

35 years ago today, cutting their cake

Nick and I took a day-trip yesterday to visit and celebrate with them. We brought along some pretty tulips for the occasion.

We aspire to a marriage as long and happy as theirs. Happy anniversary, M & J! Here's to many, many more years of happiness together.

conversations with a half-asleep husband | 4.01.10

Scene: I am sitting on the couch blogging and watching tv after Nick has already gone to bed. I hear the bedroom door open, he groggily walks by me to go into the kitchen, then comes right back into the living room and sits down on the love seat.

Brooke: "Hi, honey... you okay?"

Nick: "Yeah... I came out here to get a drink of water, because there were crocodiles in our apartment."

Brooke: "Oh. Scary."

Nick: "Yeah... Make a wish, it's 12:12."

Brooke: "That's not how it works, honey. It's when it's 11:11, or 2:22..."

Nick: "That's how it works in my book. I wish the night away."

Brooke: "Okay."

Aaaaand he gets up and goes back to bed. Uh, goodnight?

I want you to WANT to mail the card

Yesterday, Nick and I had a very Jennifer Aniston/Vince Vaughn moment. No, no — not in the sense that we're breaking up, silly! But we sort of lived out the "I want you to WANT to do the dishes" scene from The Breakup. Except, I was Vince Vaughn and Nick was Jennifer Aniston...

... Let me start over.

Nick had a card that he had written out for his grandmother, and it was addressed, with a stamp on it, sitting at the top of the stairs in our apartment. That's where we usually sit things that need to be remembered on our way out the door. The morning after he wrote the card out, I saw it still sitting there. Huh, I figured — Nick forgot to grab the card on his way to work. Guess he'll mail it later. I went about my day and pretty much immediately forgot about it.

The following day, yesterday, it was still sitting there. Geez, I thought to myself, when is he going to mail that card? I ended up not leaving the apartment yesterday, so I didn't grab it on my way out anywhere to drop it in the nearest mailbox, and it just didn't occur to me that I should go out of my way to mail it.

Last night, Nick said to me, "Will you remember to mail that card tomorrow, or should I just walk down to the mailbox right now?"

Um, excuse me?

I barked very nicely said, "I was never told that I was supposed to mail that card."

He immediately knew that the way he had asked his question sounded accusatory, and he backtracked a little bit to redeem himself. After a little spattering back-and-forth, he said I was right, he had never asked me to mail the card, and he apologized that it came out the wrong way; then, he walked down the street to mail the card.

But it occurred to me later in the evening — why didn't I mail that card for him? No, he had never outright asked me, but I saw it sitting there for two days in a row, and I ignored it. The mailbox is half a block from our apartment, and yes, it would have been "out of my way," but I work from home and it probably would have taken all of 90 seconds of my time to take care of it. But I didn't.

He wanted me to WANT to mail the card for him.

He does nice things for me all the time without my asking, but I did not extend the same courtesy to him. I felt like a jerk.

Hopefully I'll learn from this incident and go out of my way to be a little more courteous the next time. Next time, I'll WANT to mail the card for him.

Do you and your spouse ever have the "I want you to WANT to do the dishes" moment?

open letter to Alex Trebek

Dear Mr. Trebek (or may I call you Alex?):

For a few years now, my husband, Nick, has been trying to get on your show. You know, that little Jeopardy project of yours. Frankly, I find your show kind of taxing to watch because of all of that fast-thinking involved — I mean, I've already spent nine hours at work; do I really need to spend 30 more minutes straining my brain? — but Nick lives for it. He watches it daily, spews out questions before you've even finished saying the answers, and calls his parents to let them know that he got Final Jeopardy right again. It's annoying, yet endearing, all at the same time.

He takes your online qualifying test whenever it's available, and I'm always amazed at how many answers (er, questions) he knows (since I stand over his shoulder watching nervously to see if he knows them). Sure, he misses a few, and occasionally puts "turd" or "turdville" in the response box when he doesn't know the right answer (er, question), but you like a good sense of humor, don't you, Alex? Isn't it important for Jeopardy contestants to be smart and entertaining?

I know a lot of people think they should be on Jeopardy. But the thing is, I know that my husband should be on Jeopardy. He'll probably get mad at my for "hyping him up" in this letter, but I just thought I'd give it a shot, because I think he's really, really smart. And handsome... but that's beside the point.

Anyway, please consider my plea. Oh, and if you need some new business cards or something, I'd be happy to design some in exchange for getting Nick on your show. It's the least I can do. Think about it.

Sincerely,
Brooke

PS, have I told you how great you look without your mustache? Like a fine wine, you have only improved with age! (Too much? Okay, I'm done...)

happy halloween!

On October 31, 2003, I went to a Halloween party dressed as Violet Beauregard from "Willy Wonka." At that party, I noticed a cute guy (wearing a mullet wig) playing beer pong (klassy). We later struck up a conversation while waiting in line for the bathroom... and now, he's my husband.

in 2004, on our one year anniversary, as Daphne and Fred

Now that we're all hitched and stuff, we no longer consider Halloween our official anniversary... but I will always remember it as our meetiversary.

We'll be celebrating the spooktastic holiday in costume with friends (costume photos to come!). I look forward to someday having a house that we can decorate from top to bottom and throwing a fabulous Halloween party. Here is some of my favorite Halloween inspiration that I've been bookmarking from around the web this week.

unique pumpkins via Hasel/Allison at Elizabeth Ann Designs Living

adorable owl costume via Martha Stewart

painted pumpkins via ritzy bee blog

eerie eyeball recipes via simply stated

spiderweb coasters via 12fifteen

Duncan the disgruntled banana via Oh! Apostrophe

Halloween invitation via Brooklyn Limestone

Happy Halloween!

house husband, no more

Last week, Nick returned to work. After ten months of unemployment and endless job searching, he was positively thrilled to get back to a 9-to-5 routine (or, in his case, a 7:30-to-4:30 routine). He actually returned to his old job, since the company is getting back on its feet again and his boss asked him to come back.

It is really nice that he doesn't have to learn about new systems or meet new co-workers — he already knows the job and the people, so he got right back into the swing of things. It is a job that he was good at and passionate about before, and while it wasn't the change we were expecting, it is certainly a relief. I think the fact that he was asked to return also speaks volumes about how much his contributions at this company were/are valued.

I felt like I was seeing my child off to his first day of school when he gave me a kiss goodbye last Tuesday morning! I have to admit that I'm going to miss being able to have lunch together sometimes, spending more quality time together, and coming home to dinner on the table, a clean house, and a stocked fridge, but I'm glad my hubby is back to feeling like he has a purpose outside of our home.

awww, shucks.

Yesterday, after sharing a giggle at a private joke, Nick looked at me and said, "You know what's cool about being married? You get to do everything with your best friend."

on newsstands today...

Lookie lookie at what popped up on newsstands today...

It's our wedding, in Brides Philadelphia and Brides South Jersey!

This is one of the two different covers for the Fall/Winter 2009 issue we are in

Brooke & Nick at the Desmond... that's US!

We were so flattered, thrilled, and surprised when we heard a few months ago that our wedding photographers, The Wiebners, had submitted our wedding photos for consideration to the magazine, and that we were chosen to be included in their Real Weddings feature!

Once we got word of the exciting news, I filled out a loooong questionnaire for Heather, the lovely writer who worked on our piece, so she could put together the article. We didn't know until we received a copy of the magazine that our spread would be a whole three pages. Woohoo! Heather included so many great details in the piece, and the photos look so lovely all collaged together. What a magnificent keepsake this will be.

Click on the images below to get a better look at our spread! And be sure to pick up a copy if you live in the Philadelphia/South Jersey area :-)

To see more details from our wedding, check out my "Mrs. Cupcake" blog on Weddingbee.

the bright side of the economy

Lately, my posts have been mostly based on things I like, places I've gone and shows I watch, and notsomuch based on nesting, cooking, and decorating. The reason for this is simple: my husband is still a victim of the economy — ie., unemployed — and, for the most part, he's been the one taking care of our apartment and doing the cooking while I have been working and picking up some extra projects to make a little extra moola.

While our situation is certainly not ideal, and we're both frustrated at times after 7+ months of fruitless job searching and networking, it also has its benefits. When Nick was at his last job, he'd leave for work before I even woke up. Pretty much the only conversation we'd have in the morning would be him saying "I love you," giving me a kiss on the forehead, and me mumbling something that might have sounded like "I love you, too" in my slumbery state. We'd chat a few times a day over email, but mostly both be engrossed in our work all day. On a good day, we'd both be home by 6:00. On a more typical day, we'd be at work late or at the gym, getting home between 7:30 and 8:00, leaving very little time to spend together before Nick would ultimately head to bed (being that he would awake so early the following day).

Now, we wake up around the same time and go for a run together (I use the term "run" loosely as I am NOT a runner... we do a walk/run sequence dictated by the Trainer Lite app on our iPhones). We chitchat during our run, and then while I'm getting ready for work he does the dishes from the day before. We kiss goodbye as I head out to work and he gets started looking for jobs. After there are no more jobs to apply for, he goes fishing, maybe goes food shopping, does some cleaning or laundry, or runs miscellaneous errands that need to be taken care of. Sometimes, he'll come to my office to have lunch with me.

When I get home from work, dinner is usually on the table or almost ready; we eat together and talk about our days, and then pretty much spend the rest of the night together until it's time to go to bed. I'm often working on freelance work or blogging but we still spend that time mostly together.

I have to say — although Nick's unemployment has not been a walk in the park, it has allowed us to spend a lot more time together in this first year of our marriage. While I sometimes feel far removed from the nesting that some newlywed wives thrive on, I'm also grateful that Nick doesn't mind handling more responsibilities around our apartment while I focus on my job. I have a lot less to worry about, knowing that he's handling things at home.

We are both still hoping that a great job comes along for him very soon, but part of me will miss how much time we've been able to spend together when he goes back to work. Regardless, we'll certainly have come away from the experience stronger and smarter than before. The lessons we've learned in how to manage our money have been invaluable; the fact that any home-buying was put on hold was probably a blessing in disguise, as that may have been a stressful situation that we didn't need as newlyweds. Our relationship has been tested during this difficult time and we're pretty sure that we've passed with flying colors.

Eventually, when the day comes for Nick to go back to work, I'll be posting more about cooking and baking projects and decorating our home, but until then, you'll have to tolerate my other random ramblings!

Have you dealt with unemployment in your family or marriage? Do you feel that the lessons learned through the experience have resulted in a lot of positives, despite the negatives?

PS - anyone in the home construction industry (or any industry, really) need a smart, talented, hard-working (and good-looking!) project manager? ;-)

six months

Friday was our sixth-month wedding anniversary. A small milestone, for sure, but a milestone nonetheless. I was pleasantly surprised when I came home from work to this:



Our little bistro table had been pulled into the middle of the living room (we don't have an eat-in kitchen or dining room, so the corner of our living room doubles as a dining "room"); the curtains were drawn to keep out the early evening sun and some of the cut glass votives from our wedding lit up the room with a warm glow. The save-the-date mix CD that we had put together for our guests was playing throughout the apartment as my wonderful husband finished up dinner.

Nick cooked up a yummy meal of some delicious melt-in-your-mouth pork, couscous, and broccoli. We're both following Weight Watchers, so he made sure to not mess up our points for the day :-)


Then came dessert: a Weight Watchers lemon cake (these things are my favorite!), topped off with one of the "love is sweet" cake flags from our wedding. He's very resourceful!


It was so sweet and adorable and thoughtful. I love little unexpected surprises, and I'm looking forward to many more milestones in our marriage!