my very own toy story

Last night, Nick and I went to see Toy Story 3 in 3D.... and there were no shortage of tears that resulted. I am a fan of the Toy Story series in general, and all of the movies have had touching and tearful moments (well, at least for me — I'm a crier), but this was some serious, I'm-sobbing-and-I-hope-no-one-can-see-me-behind-these-giant-3D-glasses kind of crying. If you've seen the movie, you probably know what I mean. (Or you just think I'm crazy and hormonal. Also true.) I'm not going to sell him out, but let's just say that someone sitting to my left may have also had tears running down his face.

What can I say? We're a bunch of saps.

I won't ruin the ending of the movie for anyone who has not yet seen it, but the premise of the film is that Andy, the toys' owner, is all grown up and going off to college; Andy no longer has the same need for Woody and Buzz (and the rest of his beloved toys) as he prepares to move on to his exciting new life. It's true that we all grow up and lose some of the emotional attachment we once had with our toys, but I'm pretty sure that we all had our own Woody and Buzz at some point; those toys that represent our childhood, our innocence, our happiness.

For me, those toys were my CPKs — my Cabbage Patch Kids. My two best friends — Jill and Denise — and I were totally in love with our CPKs. We went over to each other's houses and had CPK school, CPK parties, CPK dance recitals... CPK everything. We had piles upon piles of clothes and accessories for our kids. We were enamored with them and they truly were like our own children.

My first Cabbage Patch Kid was Carol — she had orange yarn for hair and she was one of the original dolls when the CPK fad first hit in the early 80s. I adored Carol, and she came with me wherever I went... including one fateful trip to the store with my mom where Carol was accidentally left behind. I was heartbroken when we couldn't find her, but never fear — Carol 2.0 soon became mine and all was right with my world again.

me with the original Carol;
please take note of my stylish Strawberry Shortcake shoes
and the delightful shag carpeting

Over the years, I collected more and more Cabbage Patch Kids — some were gifts, some I saved up for and bought with my own money, some were inherited from my older brother when the novelty of the boy dolls wore off on him. At one point, I had 12 CPKs. Excessive, perhaps, but they were my world. I really don't remember any other dolls or toys that I loved as a kid, and that was probably because I didn't have a lot of others. My joy came from my CPKs, so that's what I stuck with.

The summer before I turned ten years old, my mom, brother and I went to visit relatives in New Orleans. My dad still had to work, so he stayed home and held down the fort, and the days that he'd be on the road for work, our neighbors were going to stop in to feed our dogs. Of course I couldn't bring all of my CPKs to New Orleans with me, so I chose one to bring along — her name was Jillian and she was one of the new bath-time Cabbage Patch Kids who had a rubbery body that could get wet; she had silky blond hair and wore a cute little yellow bathing suit with bright pink polka dots, and a bathrobe on top. My other 11 kids stayed home.

The day before our trip, Jill, Denise and I had forced our parents to sit through a CPK dance recital in Jill's basement; my kids and their plethora of costumes were still in the garbage bag that I had transported them to Jill's house in.

Yes... a garbage bag. Do you see where this is going?

I remember leaving the bag at the bottom of our stairs, by the front door, in the living room of our house on Claremont Road. It was completely my fault; I should have put the bag in my room when I got back from Jill's house that day, or taken the dolls out of the bag entirely and put them away. But I didn't. To this day, we don't know who was responsible for disposing of the garbage bag, but it was just a very unfortunate accident. My kids were inadvertently put on the curb amidst the garbage and taken away. All I had left was Jillian, the doll I had taken to New Orleans with me.

We didn't realize what had happened until a day or so after we returned from our trip when I invited Jill over to play with our CPKs. She came from her house across the street with her own bag full of kids, while my mom and I looked everywhere for mine. We simply could not find them. And then, it hit us. When we finally realized what must have happened, I think my mom was as devastated as I was. I remember the look on Jill's face... she felt the loss, too. I cried and cried and cried.

It took a while to be able to joke about it, but my mom and I now refer to that fateful event as "the cruise" — as in, the cruise that my CPKs took... to the Bermuda Triangle.

Looking back, I was probably growing too old to still be regularly playing with dolls, and I didn't really want to replace all of my lost Cabbage Patch Kids; getting a Carol 3.0 just sounded like a silly idea. Perhaps losing them at that point in my life was a little sign that it was time to grow up.

I did eventually get a few more CPKs, but they could never have truly replaced my lost dolls; many of them became more like collectibles to me as I got older. They sat as decoration on the built-in shelves in my bedroom, and helped me to remember the old times. Denise gave me an artist Cabbage Patch Kid as a gift when we graduated from high school. It was a nice little reminder of who we once were all those years ago, and where we were going (I was headed to college to major in art). The Cabbage Patch Kids I gradually collected after "the cruise" are still tucked away in a bin in my mom's basement, including that artist doll who is still in her original box; maybe my future kids will enjoy playing with them someday.

It may sound crazy, but I still get a little choked up when I think about losing my kids. Recounting this story actually makes my heart hurt. Cabbage Patch Kids were such a huge part of my childhood, and although it may sound silly because they were only toys and not real people, that was really my first experience with heartbreaking loss. It was accidental and unexpected, and there was nothing anyone could do to get them back. Twenty years later, I can still clearly recall the sadness I felt.

I remember telling the story of "the cruise" to my friend Amy 10 or so years ago, and she had tears in her eyes as I relayed what happened. No matter who we are or where we came from, we can all relate to having that innocent, emotional connection with and undying love for a toy (or toys) as a child; fortunately, the memory of utter happiness and adoration for that thing is not something that can be taken away from you, even when the object is no longer part of your world.

Me with another one of my CPKs, years before "the cruise"

My childhood joy was my Cabbage Patch Kids... what was yours?

101 in 1001... revisited

I haven't been keeping you all as up-to-date on my 101 in 1001 list as I did when I first started working on it. My apologies... I have continued checking items off the list, but many of them have been smaller things that aren't necessarily blog-post-worthy. I'll continue to keep you posted when I tackle any of the larger items, I promise!

The list really has kept me motivated to follow through with my goals, and evaluate new goals that I want to set for myself. I decided to replace a few things on my original list, since they may not necessarily be things that are applicable to my life anymore (for instance, I no longer have the goal of taking new classes at the gym, because I no longer have a gym membership!). I also have some new goals that I thought were a bit more noteworthy. And once something is on the list, I really have to hold myself accountable to get it done.

See my entire revised list here... I've also listed my new additions below.

Additions/replacements - 2010
6. start a business (April 2010)
45. run a 5K race
53. write a manuscript (and submit to publishers)
77. attend Altitude Design Summit
81. attend a Making Things Happen seminar with Lara Casey

And a few notes....
6: I already did this one, but it's a doozy, so I thought it deserved a place on my list ;) It's honestly been a goal of mine for years, but I never thought it would realistically happen before I turned 30. It did, though, and I've never been happier.

45: Since I've actually been keeping up with C25K (albeit at a slower pace than the actual program), I have decided that I'm really going to follow through and sign up for a 5K race (probably in the early fall). As the most unathletic person on earth, I'm slightly terrified, but it's an exciting goal.

53. I have had an idea for a book for a few years now, but I can never find the time to write it. It's time to make the time and just do it. Holler.

77. This conference is right up my alley; I found out about it too late in the game last year, so I'm going to try really hard to get there this year!

81. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that Lara Casey schedules more dates for MTH, and that I can afford to attend. She is an idol of mine who has accomplished so much so young, and I'd love to learn from her!

how rude!

Have you ever had one of those experiences where someone is so unbelievably rude that it sticks with you for years? I was asked a question on Formspring recently that reminded me of an encounter like this, (by the way, I'm thinking of quitting Formspring... I won't go into detail since Coasting Anon pretty much summed it up perfectly already, so check out her post) and thought I'd share my response with you all. The original question:

I think many of us have had the experience of feeling wronged by an individual, only to think of the perfect comeback... 2 hours later. Tell me about one of those times and what you wish you had said.

About 7 years ago, my mom and I were out to dinner at a local Chili's near where I was living at the time. It was my first time living on my own after college, so it was still kind of an adjustment for me, and I am really close with my mom so we tried to have weekly dinners to catch up. Anyway, we were sitting at Chili's, having finished our meal, but we were just chatting and laughing and relaxing, not in any rush to get out of there (it wasn't crowded or anything, so we didn't feel like we were holding anything up). Some little no-good pimple-faced wearing-too-much-eyeliner brat of a teenager came over and asked us if we were going to be leaving soon because, ya know, they were waiting to sit there. We were just so caught off-guard and responded, "um, yeah, in a few minutes," and we just sat there stunned as she walked away to bitch about us to her equally annoying and pimple-faced friends. Apparently we were sitting right in the middle of a larger area of tables that were empty, but, unbeknownst to us, they were waiting for us to leave before they could put all the tables together and seat this group of annoying teenagers.

My mom and I were so annoyed, but at the same time embarrassed, because two of the employees who were standing nearby, putting the other tables together, saw the whole thing and just kind of stood there without doing anything. We started to get a complex that maybe we were being jerks sitting at this table after we were done our meal, and we should go.

As we walked out, pimple-face's friends apologized like "ohmygod I'm sooooo sorry, she didn't mean that you had to leave, we were just waiting for our table yada yada yada" and my mom told them she was just trying to enjoy dinner with her daughter who she only gets to see once a month (okay, we stretched that truth a bit, hehe) and generally (deservedly) made it known that they were clearly in the wrong as we walked out.

I went home and an hour later I was still fuming, so I called the restaurant just to tell the manager what had happened. I told him how disappointed I was that the employees standing nearby didn't do anything to make us feel more welcome after they saw our encounter with brat-tastic, and we felt like we were being forced out of there; he apologized and promised me a free dessert the next time we went in (which of course never happened). I felt a little better after that, but I REALLY wish I had asked for the manager while we were sitting there being confronted by the brat, and I wish I had given her a piece of my mind for real. I wish they had gotten kicked out of the restaurant so they realized that is not acceptable human behavior, and when you treat people poorly, you receive that same treatment in return.

When put on-the-spot during encounters like this, I always come up with my response or comeback too late; it's SO frustrating! Are you good at reacting quickly when dealing with an inconsiderate individual, or do you always come up with your best comeback two hours later, too?

five years ago: a personal story

On this day five years ago, my mom was on her way to my apartment; we had dinner plans with her girlfriend, Ruth, and her daughter, Jessica. My mom was just a few blocks away, heading to the bank before she came to my place, when a drunk driver (understatement of the century... she wasn't just drunk, she was passed out at the wheel at 6:00 on a Wednesday night after polishing off a bottle of vodka) ran through (and over) a stop sign at 40 MPH, T-boning my mom's Jetta, pushing her into the axle of an oncoming 18-wheeler, and forcing the 18-wheeler to hit the car behind my mom and push it into a telephone pole.

Talk about horrifying.

My mom, who never saw the car coming, passed out immediately from the impact of the crash and doesn't remember a thing, but when she came to she immediately found her cell phone (tucked into her purse, which was still sitting on the passenger seat beside her) and called me. When she first said she had been in an accident, I thought, oh no, fender bender, but then her voice changed and I quickly became very, very fearful. She managed to tell me where the accident was, so I bolted out my door (yelling to Ruth and Jessica that there was an accident, and to please pull the door shut behind them), sprinted up the street (in heels) towards the sound of the sirens, and was terrified at what I saw before me. The 18-wheeler was blocking the road so I couldn't even see my mom's car; I had to run around the truck and through some bushes to see my mom still sitting in her crumpled Jetta. A kind gentleman who witnessed the accident had forced her door open when she came to and was feeling claustrophobic, but she was not allowed to move out of the driver's seat for fear of injuries.

Nick always says that the worst thing that happened that day was me seeing the whole thing, and I have to agree with him. While my mom's bruises and (thankfully) minor injuries eventually faded away, the image of that terrifying scene will forever be ingrained in my brain. It has been five years and it still seems like it happened yesterday; I still take extra caution when driving through the intersection where it all happened and can't help but picture the scene every time I do.

I'll never forget what happened in those following hours and days, either. I remember weird things, like riding in the front of the ambulance and feeling stunned to learn that drivers really don't move out of the way for emergency vehicles; I remember my mom being upset that they had to cut her sweater off of her (it was new). I also remember things like strangers comforting me on the side of the road when I wasn't allowed to stand near my mom, still in the driver's seat of her poor, totaled Jetta, since there were flammable substances on the road (yeah, that makes a worried daughter feel better).

I remember sitting in the waiting room of the trauma center by myself, still wearing my pink pants and heels, holding onto my mom's new yellow purse, waiting for George (my now-stepdad) to arrive; I sat waiting to be allowed to see my mom, and trying to convince myself that I'd be okay without a mom if that's what it had to come to. I remember thinking that maybe women in our family just weren't supposed to have mothers beyond our early twenties (my mom's parents both died by the time she was 24). I didn't want to believe that possible reality, but I was afraid that I may have had to, so I tried to be strong. But really, I was a mess.

Thankfully, as I mentioned above, aside from being extremely bruised on most of her body and sore (she passed out from the pain a few times in the hospital), my mom didn't suffer any major injuries, though she still has knee issues from her knee slamming into the steering column, pain in her ribs often from where she slammed into the driver's side door, and she had a concussion. We had both been nervous about possible internal injuries since the impact of the crash was so strong, even though on the surface she didn't look injured, and waiting for hours to hear that news seemed like weeks. (I knew we had both been thinking about poor Princess Diana, but neither of us wanted to say it.) We later heard that the 19 year-old girl who was in the car that had been pushed into the telephone pole had some pretty bad cuts on her arms from the broken glass, and the truck driver was unharmed — just very shaken up. The accident wasn't his fault, but clearly he felt very responsible. Out of everyone, the woman who caused the accident was the most injured and required the longest recovery time.

I don't know if I've ever felt quite as much anger as I did when we received the police report a week or so later and found that the 40-something woman who caused the accident had been drunk and passed out at the wheel (up until that point, we didn't know why she had been speeding and driving so recklessly). Her blood alcohol level was .309 — the legal limit in Pennsylvania is .08, and the police sergeant assigned to the case told us that .5 would have meant death. I was so angry that this woman's abandon for her own life had harmed the lives of so many others. I don't want to think about what could have happened if that tractor trailer had been a foot ahead or behind where he was when my mom's car was pushed into him (yet I think about that all the time). I had many a nightmare where I was in the passenger seat of my mom's car when the accident occurred, which was where the initial impact was.

I was in therapy for a year to overcome my driving fears after the accident; I didn't trust anyone on the road and there were many days that I arrived at work in tears after someone cut me off or startled me on the road. I accompanied my mom to the court hearing where we saw Drunk Lady (as she came to be known by me) and my mom had to testify; on our way out of the courtroom I heard Drunk Lady ask her lawyer if she should say something to us as she walked by. I gave her the stink eye and she (smartly) kept moving. As much as I had a lot I'd love to have said to her, she was not worth the breath.

I have zero tolerance for people who drive even a little drunk. And the people who then joke and "brag" about it after the fact, like it's a badge of honor — well, I'd like to smack them into next Tuesday. There is nothing admirable about doing something so incredibly stupid. Sure, the woman who caused my mom's accident clearly had a real problem, but you don't have to be an alcoholic to make a stupid decision involving alcohol.

If ever you're considering getting behind the wheel after you've had even one drink too many, don't do it. Just don't. You're putting your life and countless others at risk, and it is not worth it. Just imagine all of the moments you could be robbing your innocent victims of, and the families that could be forever affected by your choice. Please: be smart, and be safe.

My mom and me at my 2008 wedding, photo by The Wiebners

sentimental clutter

I am, without a doubt, a hoarder of sentimental clutter (but I promise, not a hoarder in the sense of the tv show.... *shudders*). This post on Unclutterer really resonates with me and reminds me of why keeping everything may actually be doing more harm than good.

Sentimental clutter plagues our attics, basements, closets, garages, and desks. These sentimental trinkets can keep us from moving forward with our lives physically and emotionally. If there is so much of the past taking up space in the present, there isn’t room to grow.

Photo of me as a kid on a field trip. Photos NEVER get thrown out, in my book, even the bad ones... although, maybe burning those fat-faced photos of me from college wouldn't be such a bad idea. Hmmm...

Apparently, even Lindsay Lohan has recently figured out that the clutter in her life is suffocating her. Li-Lo, when you donate all of your old stuff, maybe you'll find the cute little Lindsay from The Parent Trap era. Bring her back, please.

How do you decide what stays and what goes in terms of sentimental clutter?

do you believe in miracles?

I am very excited for the Olympics this year. Although I've never been much of an athlete myself, I have always been drawn to sports stories of overcoming the odds, sacrifice, and triumph; that's what the Olympics represent to me. While many great Olympians go on to collect millions of dollars in endorsement deals, there are no monetary guarantees (like in the world of professional NFL and NBA athletes) when they arrive in the Olympic village; those athletes are all there first and foremost for the love of their sport and their devotion to being the best.

My favorite Olympic moment is one that occurred a few months before I was even born, but it is beautifully reenacted in the movie Miracle. The story of the 1980 US Olympic hockey team is so uplifting to watch, and it was undoubtedly uplifting to live through during a time of political uncertainty and tension. I know, I know — it's just another Disney feel-good story — but if you can say you didn't shed a tear during this film, I'd reckon to say that you're lying. I won't spoil the story for anyone who hasn't seen it, but if you haven't, do yourself a favor and rent it, pronto. Nick and I watch it at least once or twice a year, and neither of us can ever make it through with dry eyes.

What is your favorite Olympic moment? What sport are you most looking forward to watching during the Vancouver Olympics? (PS, don't forget to watch the opening ceremonies to look for my friend Kasia! She'll be the cute prego sporting her Vancouver pride!)

"If you work really hard and you're kind, amazing things will happen."

If you follow me on Twitter, you know by now that I am 100% on "Team Coco." Conan O'Brien has long been one of my favorite late-night personalities, but up until last year I usually only caught his Late Night with Conan O'Brien on Friday nights since it was on so late. When he took over The Tonight Show, I was thrilled that I'd at least be able to catch his opening monologue a few nights a week, which always had me laughing out loud. Sadly, as you probably know by now, The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien is no longer, and I admit — I shed a tear while watching its final live broadcast on Friday night.

image source

Conan took a moment toward the end of the show to say a few heartfelt words about his experience, and he couldn't have said it better. In case you missed it, here is what he said (you can watch the video here):

"Before we end this rodeo, a few things need to be said. There has been a lot of speculation in the press about what I legally can and can't say about NBC. To set the record straight, tonight I am allowed to say anything I want. And what I want to say is this: between my time at Saturday Night Live, The Late Night Show, and my brief run here on The Tonight Show, I have worked with NBC for over twenty years. Yes, we have our differences right now and yes, we're going to go our separate ways. But this company has been my home for most of my adult life. I am enormously proud of the work we have done together, and I want to thank NBC for making it all possible. I really do.

A lot of people have been asking me about my state of mind, and I'll be honest with you — walking away from The Tonight Show is the hardest thing I have ever had to do. Making this choice has been enormously difficult. This is the best job in the world, I absolutely love doing it, and I have the best staff and crew in the history of the medium. But despite this sense of loss, I really feel this should be a happy moment. Every comedian — EVERY comedian — dreams of hosting The Tonight Show and, for seven months, I got to. I did it my way, with people I love, and I do not regret one second. I have had more good fortune than anyone I know and if our next gig is doing a show in a 7-11 parking lot, we will find a way to make it fun. We really will. I have no problems.

And finally, I have to say something to our fans. This massive outpouring of support and passion from so many people has been overwhelming for me. The rallies, the signs... all this goofy, outrageous creativity on the internet... the fact that people have traveled long distances and camped out all night in the pouring rain to be in our audience, has made a sad situation joyous and inspirational.

To all the people watching, I can never ever thank you enough for your kindness to me and I'll think about it for the rest of my life. All I ask of you is one thing, and I'm asking this particularly of the young people that watch: please don't be cynical. I hate cynicism — for the record, it's my least favorite quality, and it doesn't lead anywhere.

Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. But if you work really hard and you're kind, amazing things will happen."

So true, Coco. So true. I firmly believe that being a good person will take you far in life, and I believe that Conan is one of those good people. I also hope that some young people (and adults, for that matter) heard his message and will now think twice about their cynicism and lack of kindness. Life is just too short.

Thanks to Conan for some wonderful years on NBC, seven awesome months on The Tonight Show, and for being such a stand-up guy. I can't wait to see what he does next.

Pantone color of the year

I'm not saying I'm a total trailblazer or anything.... but have you seen Pantone's color of the year?

And have you seen my wedding details?

above photos by The Wiebners

... and my kitchen (which I painted five years ago [please ignore the mess in the sink])?

... and my DIY vanity?

I'm just sayin'....

a Swift confession

Confession: Taylor Swift songs make me teary-eyed.

I can't help it. I mean, have you heard the song "Fifteen"? Don't you remember how much high school sucked sometimes? And how it's now so clear to see just how naive you were back then? High school had it's high points for me, but it was also full of some not-so-high points of feeling misunderstood, let-down and unsure of where I fit in. This song takes me back to that confusing and frustrating time that is still a bit bittersweet for me to think about.

I've found time can heal most anything
And you just might find who you're supposed to be
I didn't know who I was supposed to be at fifteen

I don't often openly admit to enjoying mainstream pop music because, well, it's just not "cool." But I can't help but have a soft spot for Taylor and her extremely honest and sweet songs. It's refreshing to see a 20 year-old performer who has her head on straight and who seems genuinely humbled by her success. I can't help but like her.

Oh, and don't even get me started on her song "The Best Day." Don't. Even. One word: sobfest.

So, there you have it — I am seven months away from being in my thirties (oy), and Taylor Swift songs make me teary-eyed. What's it to ya?

Now please tell me I'm not the only one...

awww, shucks.

Yesterday, after sharing a giggle at a private joke, Nick looked at me and said, "You know what's cool about being married? You get to do everything with your best friend."

wedding blog fibbers

Words that should be used more carefully when describing weddings:

"Effortless."

"Casual."

"Simple."

Even though our wedding was almost a year ago (srsly??) I still read a lot of wedding blogs because I work in the wedding industry. I can't tell you how often I read that a wedding has "effortless charm" or is so "simple and sweet" or has such "casual elegance," when in reality, more often than not, a team of creative professionals were hired to make things look so "effortless" and "simple" and "casual." Either that, or you know that the bride and groom had to put a lot of thought and time into the look and style they were going for, and in my book, thought+time=effort. Can we stop making other brides feel like crap for spending months on end refining all of their details? Can we stop pretending that all of these gorgeous weddings just fell into place?

I am all for making things look effortless; but wedding blogs, please stop telling us that the details were effortless to put together. We are onto you, and you're not fooling us anymore!

Tangent over. Just had to get that out of my system :-)

the bright side of the economy

Lately, my posts have been mostly based on things I like, places I've gone and shows I watch, and notsomuch based on nesting, cooking, and decorating. The reason for this is simple: my husband is still a victim of the economy — ie., unemployed — and, for the most part, he's been the one taking care of our apartment and doing the cooking while I have been working and picking up some extra projects to make a little extra moola.

While our situation is certainly not ideal, and we're both frustrated at times after 7+ months of fruitless job searching and networking, it also has its benefits. When Nick was at his last job, he'd leave for work before I even woke up. Pretty much the only conversation we'd have in the morning would be him saying "I love you," giving me a kiss on the forehead, and me mumbling something that might have sounded like "I love you, too" in my slumbery state. We'd chat a few times a day over email, but mostly both be engrossed in our work all day. On a good day, we'd both be home by 6:00. On a more typical day, we'd be at work late or at the gym, getting home between 7:30 and 8:00, leaving very little time to spend together before Nick would ultimately head to bed (being that he would awake so early the following day).

Now, we wake up around the same time and go for a run together (I use the term "run" loosely as I am NOT a runner... we do a walk/run sequence dictated by the Trainer Lite app on our iPhones). We chitchat during our run, and then while I'm getting ready for work he does the dishes from the day before. We kiss goodbye as I head out to work and he gets started looking for jobs. After there are no more jobs to apply for, he goes fishing, maybe goes food shopping, does some cleaning or laundry, or runs miscellaneous errands that need to be taken care of. Sometimes, he'll come to my office to have lunch with me.

When I get home from work, dinner is usually on the table or almost ready; we eat together and talk about our days, and then pretty much spend the rest of the night together until it's time to go to bed. I'm often working on freelance work or blogging but we still spend that time mostly together.

I have to say — although Nick's unemployment has not been a walk in the park, it has allowed us to spend a lot more time together in this first year of our marriage. While I sometimes feel far removed from the nesting that some newlywed wives thrive on, I'm also grateful that Nick doesn't mind handling more responsibilities around our apartment while I focus on my job. I have a lot less to worry about, knowing that he's handling things at home.

We are both still hoping that a great job comes along for him very soon, but part of me will miss how much time we've been able to spend together when he goes back to work. Regardless, we'll certainly have come away from the experience stronger and smarter than before. The lessons we've learned in how to manage our money have been invaluable; the fact that any home-buying was put on hold was probably a blessing in disguise, as that may have been a stressful situation that we didn't need as newlyweds. Our relationship has been tested during this difficult time and we're pretty sure that we've passed with flying colors.

Eventually, when the day comes for Nick to go back to work, I'll be posting more about cooking and baking projects and decorating our home, but until then, you'll have to tolerate my other random ramblings!

Have you dealt with unemployment in your family or marriage? Do you feel that the lessons learned through the experience have resulted in a lot of positives, despite the negatives?

PS - anyone in the home construction industry (or any industry, really) need a smart, talented, hard-working (and good-looking!) project manager? ;-)

I'm pretty sure this isn't okay...

So. I was at Target today, picking up a few things. It was your average busy Saturday afternoon at the local Target — nothing out of the ordinary — but as I was walking out of the store, I noticed a little boy standing by the exit, by himself, crying. He was probably about six years old (I think... I am a terrible judge of children's ages). Anywho, I saw him crying and went up to ask him if he was lost. He shook his head, but I wasn't sure if he was just saying that or if he just didn't want to admit he was lost. So I asked him where his mom was, and he pointed outside. I looked outside and didn't see anyone... so I asked him if his mom knew he was inside. He said yes.

I didn't quite know what to do — I wasn't going to drag this kid outside in the event that his mother was actually in the store looking for him, but I also wasn't just going to leave him stranded. So I walked outside to look around for a mother who may be looking around for her son. I didn't see anyone, and I looked back into the store and saw two more women asking the little boy if he was lost. When I turned back around, a woman peeked out from behind a wall and was looking inside towards the little boy. I asked her if that was her son. She said, "yes, he wouldn't leave the store with me."

Um. Okay. So instead of making him come with you (you're his mother and all... mother's can sort of make their kids do things like this) you leave him there? For other people in a crowded store to worry about him while you "teach him a lesson"? Of course, I didn't say this to her... I just said "oh good, I was worried," as she proceeded to walk into his view and yell his name for him to go with her. I'm not sure what the other women said to her, or if they said anything at all, or what happened next, as I walked away at this point knowing that at least he was not truly lost.

Look. I get the whole "Okay, well I'm leaving, if you don't want to come with me you can stay here" threat that parents use to teach their kids a lesson. And I get that she didn't really leave and she was keeping an eye on him while she waited for him to come outside. But people see a little boy crying in a large department store and they worry. I'm not a mother and I don't have that natural maternal instinct, but I immediately felt like I should take care of this little boy and help him find his mom. The two women behind me obviously felt the need to help him, too. I don't think I'd want to be that mother who let other people worry about my kid while I watched. The whole thing just left me really unsettled.

What do you think? Do you think it was okay for the mother to do what she did — maybe she just had a weak moment — or did she cross the line by letting others get involved and concerned for the little boy?

balance.

This post on decor8 needs to be framed and hung on my wall (or around my neck so I don't forget it). Do yourself a favor and read it — you don't have to be a freelancer (like the author, Holly, is) to understand the need for work/life balance and taking time out for what's important. Let me know if you find yourself nodding along to her thoughts.

photo via Decor8

nice to meet you.

I write this blog because I love to write, share fun and interesting findings from the interwebs, share personal experiences as I attempt to become a "grown-up," and I enjoy the blogging community that has come to inspire me on a daily basis. I write this blog for me, but ultimately — I'm not going to lie — it's really nice to get comments, see new followers, and see some jumps in visits in my Google Analytics and Feedburner.

I'm constantly surprised by the posts that get lots of comments, and the posts that get zero comments. I know that my posts are a conglomeration of lots of topics, events, and interests, but I think that keeps things interesting. Ultimately, I'm going to write about whatever inspires me or whatever is going on in my life on any given day... but I'm still interested in getting some feedback from you to maybe help to guide me. Tell me:

• who are you, what do you do for a living and where are you from?
• how did you find my blog?
• what type of my posts interest you the most?
• what type of my posts interest you the least?
• what would make this blog more interesting to you?

remembering

My maternal grandfather was in the Navy during WWII. My mom speaks with such pride about her father and his time in the service and I am sad that I was never lucky enough to know him or my grandmother.

My grandparents on their wedding day in the 1940s

I have thought about them often over the years, wondering what they were like and what our relationship would be like if they were still around, but I think about my grandfather especially frequently on Memorial Day and Veterans Day. My uncle (my mom's brother-in-law) told me recently that my grandfather was, hands down, the nicest, most generous, most giving man he has ever known. It made him (and me) a little misty when he was talking about him. I have no doubt that he was a man who would have done anything for anyone, including his country and his fellow Americans.

Thank you to all of the fine men and women who served and continue to serve our country today. I am humbled to think that anyone could ever be so selfless and brave. Thank you.

free range kids

I am definitely not ready for kids yet (aren't I still a kid myself??)... but when we DO decide to have some little mini Brookes and Nicks, I think this book is something I'd like to read: Free-Range Kids: Giving Our Children the Freedom We Had Without Going Nuts with Worry by Lenore Skenazy.

I came across this book thanks to my friend Rachel and it looks like an interesting peek into the world of "helicopter parenting" and the safety of kids today. It begs the argument that perhaps the world isn't any less safe for kids now than it was when we were kids, despite the fear that is ingrained into us all through the media. Maybe letting our kids take some chances, explore things on their own and make some mistakes is actually a positive thing.

I wasn't a particularly dare-devilish kind of kid (on the contrary, I was actually scared of doing anything "wrong" so I pretty much never got into trouble or took risks), but I think my parents gave me the freedom to figure things out on my own. I guess I just decided on my own not to be a risk-taker... so, in turn, I'm sure my future children will be constant trouble-makers ;-)

I know it will be hard not to want to watch my kids' every move when I'm a mom (I'm a major control freak, remember?), but ultimately I'll have to just keep reminding myself that giving them the freedom to make some mistakes will only foster better street smarts and decision-making skills later in life. I know too many people whose parents hovered over their every move when they were kids and I see how difficult it is for them to now make even the simplest decisions on their own. I'll admit: I'm sure I'm not going to be entirely laid back as a parent or take this free-range method to the extreme, but it will be a nice reminder to lighten up a bit when I want to follow my kids everywhere they go.

Are you/will you try to be a "free range" parent? Or do you think there are disadvantages to this style of parenting in today's world?


Check out Lenore Skenazy's blog if you're interested in learning more about "Free Range" parenting.

My 101 in 1001

I mentioned this challenge back in December, and I finally {FINALLY!} finished creating my 101 in 1001. I'm really excited about this, because I am the type of person who functions very well when I'm following a "to do" list. When I don't have a list, I don't know where to begin, no matter how much I want/have to do. Hopefully this list will keep me motivated to keep doing and learning and growing. I'll continue to update this post as I complete tasks (and I'll link to it in a sidebar for easy reference, if you're interested in keeping up with my progress!).

I'm back-tracking a bit on my start date, since I had many items in place weeks ago, and I completed a few tasks while I was working to finish the list. Here's the lowdown, taken from the lovely Kate at Pretty Damn Fabulous, who first brought my attention to this great idea... you can also learn about the project here.

The Mission:
Complete 101 preset tasks in a period of 1001 days.

The Criteria:
Tasks must be specific (ie. no ambiguity in the wording) with a result that is either measurable or clearly defined. Tasks must also be realistic and stretching (ie. represent some amount of work on my part).

Why 1001 Days?
Many people have created lists in the past - frequently simple goals such as New Year's resolutions. The key to beating procrastination is to set a deadline that is realistic. 1001 Days (about 2.75 years) is a better period of time than a year, because it allows you several seasons to complete the tasks, which is better for organising and timing some tasks such as overseas trips or outdoor activities.

Start Date: January 1, 2009
End Date: September 28, 2011

Bold/italicized - Completed Item

Strikethrough - Replaced Item (see end of post for replacements)

• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

Get Artsy
1. Take a Sewing Class
2. Sew a pillow
3. Design a Gocco wall print, just for fun (September 18, 2009)
4. Create/buy art for above the bed (January, 2010)
5. Paint mirror frames in the stairway (May 5, 2009)
6. Make a new scarf with the yarn I already have
7. Set up an Etsy store (April 18, 2009)
8. Sell something on Etsy (May 2, 2009)
9. Create rehearsal dinner albums for parents
10. Create wedding albums for parents (December, 2009)
11. Create Blurb album of Weddingbee posts
12. Create a shadowbox of wedding mementos
13. Create a scrapbook of RSVP cards, well wishes, postcards, etc.

Get Cultured
14. Read 5 non-fiction books (1/5)
15. Read 10 books of my own choosing (3/10)
16. Organize or participate in a book group
17. Watch all of AFI's top 100 movies (2007 list) (31/100)
18. Go to the ballet
19. Go to the orchestra
20. Attend a live music performance of someone I don't know who is not famous
21. Attend a play in the city (Philadelphia) (The Lion King, April 13, 2010)
22. See a Tony Award winning musical on Broadway (In The Heights, Feb. 19, 2009)
23. Attend a play at the local theatre (Media, PA)
24. Attend a concert of someone famous whom I’ve never seen before (June 12, 2009 - Eric Clapton and Steve Winwood)

Get Deep
25. Go to a movie alone
26. Identify 100 things that make me happy (0/100)
27. Identify 25 things I like about myself (0/25)
28. Go to a coffee shop with a book and enjoy the afternoon solo

Get Domestic
29. Take a cooking class (September 9, 2009)
30. Make dinner at least 3 nights a week, two weeks in a row
31. Make pizelles with Nana's recipe
32. Make home made ice cream
33. Host a party for friends
34. Take a cake decorating class
35. Decorate a cake (or cupcakes) for a loved one's birthday (October 4, 2009)
36. Take lunch to work everyday for two weeks (Jan. 2009)
37. Try 30 new recipes (6/30)
38. Have fresh flowers at home for 4 weeks (4/4)

Get Geeky
39. Set up personal blog with modified template to my specifications (Jan. 2009)
40. Finish wedding recaps on Weddingbee (September 15, 2009)
41. Take an Illustrator brush-up class/seminar
42. Create a project completely in InDesign (was trained in Quark!) (December, 2009)

Get Healthy
43. Lose 7 pounds (1.5/7)
44. Take a dance class
45. Try two new classes at the gym
46. Drink 8 glasses of water daily for 3 weeks (0/21)
47. Try three new OnDemand fitness routines (2/3)
48. Wear a bikini on a NJ beach (July 2010)
49. Floss every day for a month (30/30)
50. Eat fruit every day for a week (0/7)
51. Work out three times a week, two weeks in a row (February 2010)

Get Organized
52. Sell wedding items that are no longer needed (Jan. 2009)
53. Clean and vacuum inside of car and get storage systems for items in car
54. Organize family and friend's birthdays in one place
55. Buy/make birthday cards and greeting cards to have on-hand and send
56. Organize jewelry with a new storage system (September 27, 2009)
57. Clean tarnished jewelry
58. De-clutter the bedroom (January, 2010)
59. Solve MacMail alias problem (March, 2009)
60. Finish HTAC photo album
61. Legally change my name (June 12, 2009)
62. Change name on credit cards, etc. (June, 2009)
63. Get a new passport
64. Back up all digital images from 2008 and earlier onto disc (Feb. 6, 2009)

Get Covered
65. get AAA membership (Jan. 2009)
66. get life insurance
67. write a will (and make husband write one, too)

Get Rich (or at least get my finances in better order)
68. have checks printed under joint account
69. have portion of direct deposit automatically entered into joint account
70. set up BillPayer under joint account
71. get free credit report — cancel any dormant accounts
72. set up 401K
73. transfer old 401K into new one
74. Create a financial plan with the hubby
75. Set up PayPal to be able to receive payments (April 2, 2009)
76. Put money in savings each month (at least $50) (13/32)
77. Put $5 in savings for each completed task and $10 for every uncompleted one

Get Generous
78. Pay 10 strangers compliments (0/10)
79. Purge and donate old clothes from closets at least three times (3/3)
80. Volunteer for the MAC (Media Arts Council)
81. Pay for the person behind me at a toll or drive thru
82. Serve food at a soup kitchen or homeless shelter
83. Send 12 cards or letters for no reason at all (0/12)

Get Social
84. Mail Christmas Cards out before Christmas
85. Make plans with a new friend (March 4, 2009)
86. Call one faraway friend a week for 6 weeks (0/6)
87. Have a girl's night once every other month (8/16)
88. Plan a surprise birthday party
89. Have a dinner date with my husband once a month (16/32)
90. Have a double-date with friends once every other month (8/16)

Get Stuff
91. Buy a digital SLR camera
92. Buy a home

Get Adventurous
93. go to Chicago (May 12-15, 2009)
94. Go to a taping of Oprah
95. Go to Las Vegas (March 4-7, 2010)
96. Take a vacation outside of the US
97. Stand outside of the Today show on a weekday morning (and meet Matt Lauer) (Feb. 20, 2009)
98. Go to NJ to take glass-blowing class (wedding gift) (September 5, 2009)
99. Take a Mother Daughter Trip (NYC, Feb. 18-21, 2009)
100. Take a girls only trip (Las Vegas, March 4-7, 2010)
101. Take a completely impulsive, spur of the moment road trip with husband

Additions/replacements - 2010
6. start a business (April 2010)
45. run a 5K race
53. write a manuscript (and submit to publishers)
77. attend Altitude Design Summit
81. attend a Making Things Happen seminar with Lara Casey

25 random things

I know that this is mostly a Facebook thing, but since I spent way too long writing mine (I don't know why I waste my time on this stuff), I figured I might as well post it here, too, so I don't feel so guilty. A Sunday morning well-spent!

1. I hate moving. I moved every year in college and despised it. I have lived in our current apartment for 4.5 years and I don't want to move until we buy a house. And when that happens you'll be sure to hear me bitching about moving.

2. Debbie Gibson was my first (and second) concert. I thought she was way cooler than Tiffany (because Debbie actually wrote her own songs and stupid Tiffany just ripped off old songs in her stupid denim jacket and mall hair).

3. Jill and Denise were my childhood best friends since I was like 3. They were both at my wedding. I think that is awesome.

4. Since December of 2007 I have been writing for Weddingbee.com and I love it. I only recently started telling people about it because I didn't want our wedding guests to know all about our plans beforehand.

5. I met my husband in costume at a Halloween party (that I almost didn't go to because it was a Friday night and I was really exhausted, but my mom told me that if I had RSVP-ed yes that I really should go). He was dressed as white trash and I was Violet Beauregard from "Willy Wonka" and we started chatting while in line for the bathroom. He later bought me a beer at Flatrock and was impressed that I asked for a Newcastle. He was the first person I dated that I was totally relaxed about.... I let him call me and I just let things happen at their own pace without rushing things. Only now do I realize that before him, I was always that annoying pushy girl in relationships. With him, I just somehow knew it would work out.

6. I have always wanted to write (and publish) a book. I just need to figure out what to write about. Any ideas?

7. I wish I had a screenprinting studio. I LOVE screenprinting. It relaxes me and it's a good outlet for my perfectionism. For now, my Gocco will have to do.

8. I was 15+ pounds heavier throughout most of college and I hate photos of me from that time. I call them "the ugly years." (Once I got mono the summer before senior year, that helped with the weight, though!)

9. Co-choreographing "Cabaret" my senior year at Delaware was one of the best and one of the absolute worst experiences of my life, all rolled into one. I wouldn't take it back in a second, though; I learned a lot about myself and other people at that time. I learned who I could trust and who wasn't worth my time.

10. I am excited to have kids some day and i think we'll be really cool parents, but I am NOT ready anytime soon.

11. I hate mornings and if I could stay up until 2 am every day, I would. I feel most productive late at night.

12. I love to sing (but can't very well). I don't really care. It makes me happy even if you don't like it.

13. My mom is my best friend and we have the exact same mannerisms. She always laughs at my jokes and tells me I look beautiful even if I am overweight (see #8). She'll read this and yell at me for thinking I looked ugly in college.

14. I have one older brother and I look up to him a lot. He is successful, talented, and extremely generous and kind. I love to brag about him (did you know that he is the Vice President of Marketing and Design for Marc Ecko's Cut & Sew line, and he designed the new jackets for all of the Iron Chefs?).

15. My feet and hands are always cold in the winter, even if I have really thick gloves on or wool socks. Nick finally understands that when I say I'm cold, I'm really not kidding or trying to complain. I'm just actually that cold.

16. My grandmother died the day before my bachelorette party and two days before one of my bridal showers. It was the saddest and happiest weekend all rolled into one and I was exhausted by the time it was over. I don't have any grandparents left.

17. I hate the phone. I never call my friends and I know that's bad. I am trying to get better about that.

18. I am emotionally attached to "stuff." I have always been a packrat and I've come a long way, but I still have a long way to go. Nick has been really patient about that.

19. High school was pretty awful sometimes because I didn't drink and most of the people I knew did, so I didn't have anyone to hang out with on the weekends (except my best friend Nicole, but she was often busy with theatre endeavors). I spent a lot of Friday and Saturday nights crying at home, until junior year when I met the friends that made me feel like I belonged somewhere (thanks, Amy and Chrissy!). Even though my way of thinking changed and I drank once I got to college, I'm glad I didn't compromise my beliefs in high school.

20. I love to dance and always will. Sometimes I dance in the car. It drives Nick crazy.

21. Good music makes my soul happy.

22. My last job made me unhappy and cranky and stole my soul.... but I love my new job/co-workers and I feel like I can be myself without anyone criticizing me.

23. I have a hard time dealing with people with negative attitudes and wish everyone could be optimistic (which had a lot to do with why my last job in #22 sucked so much).

24. I want to travel the world. So far I have been to London, Paris, Rome, Antigua, Salzburg, Vienna, and Munich, as well as some cool places in the US. I want to go to Chicago, San Francisco, Hawaii, Tuscany, Australia, Alaska, Seattle, Dominican Republic, and somewhere in Asia, to name a few.

25. I am eternally clumsy and I'm constantly hurting myself, but I have managed to never need to be admitted to the hospital (knock on wood). The closest I came was two years ago when I was rushing to get out of the apartment (shocking) to go to work, and had my hands full and the heel of my shoe got caught on my pant leg. I fell down half a flight of stairs in our apartment and broke my middle toe, but no one knew it was even broken for months. Now I hold onto the railing when I go down the stairs. (Stop laughing.)

I cry when I watch "Made" on MTV.

I don't know what it is... but I always get a little teary-eyed when I watch Made on MTV. And, yes — I've seen most of them. I've spent many a Saturday morning in bed watching 2 or 3 episodes in a row (and usually getting my husband sucked in at some point, as well, even after he pretends he's too cool to watch. Big faker).


If you've never seen Made, you're missing out. I promise it's not just another MTV "reality" show (yes, the quotes are definitely intentional). It's a documentary-style show, and each episode focuses on a high school/college age kid who wants to be "made" into something — a hip hop dancer, homecoming queen, a cheerleader, BMX bike rider, rockstar, opera singer — whatever. The hour-long show basically follows the 6+ week journey it takes the kid to reach their goal with the help of a coach... usually someone who has to dole out a little tough love when the kid becomes a whiney little brat who wants to throw in the towel. Ultimately, it shows the learning process that takes place, the kid figures out a little bit of who they are, and they come out of the whole thing a stronger, more confident person, even if they didn't reach their ultimate goal.

I know I'm an emotional person and all, but man, does this show get me. I mean, remember how much high school sucked sometimes? Remember how out of place you could feel, and how much you wanted to cry when someone just wouldn't believe in you or take you seriously? There's something about those kids striving for something, and along the way learning some major lessons about life, that just gets me all verklempt. The episodes that really get me are the ones where the really socially awkward nerdy kids want to become a "ladies man" or homecoming king or something of the like... when really, the only thing they want is just to be accepted as a normal kid who has friends and isn't made fun of. They usually figure out about 7/8 through their journey that reaching their ultimate goal isn't what's important; it's the invaluable lessons learned along the way that they will really take away from it all. Ah, to be young and confused again. Sigh...

Any other grown "adults" (yes, the quotes are definitely intentional) out there who want to admit to watching this show, and being as emotionally sappy as I am while watching?